Today (Sunday 27th Sept) I am suffering from depression again as I feel so useless. In May I went into the hospital with severe stomach pains. Within a few days I was told I had COVID-19, that was the last conversation I had with the doctor over this. Told my partner that I was being moved to Critical Care. Six weeks later, I find out that I had died on route, had been on a ventilator, had a pacemaker fitted, fixed up to a dialysis machine, and had more cables attached to me like a Borg! During this time they fitted a pacemaker as I had died again and they could not get my heart to stabilize.
Upon waking up from being in an induced coma I was terrified. Really was. Could not breathe although the nurses told me I could – they had cut down the amount of oxygen the ventilator was using. Over a period of time, I was being eased off the ventilator.
If it wasn’t for my partner authorizing the hospital to trial me on an experimental drug I may not be here to write this.
Had to learn to breathe again and I was fed via a tube, the next lesson was to sit up – felt like a massive hangover, walking took weeks. I spent 11 weeks in hospital, walking like a toddler, stomach having to function again, gradually weaned off oxygen, various cables removed bit by bit. I was told on many occasions that I was the last – the only one to have survived. 24 ahead of me died. It’s humbling. I will never forget those who looked after me.
I’m home now and still struggling. Getting out the Hoover, I feel knackered – come downstairs – I feel knackered- always tired! I can now walk 1200 meters on a cold day. Sleep afterward. Muscle pain is constant as 75% of my lungs are badly scarred. I am a postman – delivery – don’t think I’ll be doing that again which is sad.
I am going to be monitored for the next year as all this is new. I am better than some, I accept that. The fatigue I suffer these days does depress me. I feel useless! Damn this virus. Just wish those who think it doesn’t exist or the “it won’t affect me” group to wake up.
I am lucky to be alive!