I am Camille J., 30 years old and I live in Madrid, Spain. I thought I knew emotions before— love, empathy, sadness, hope. But this virus peeled back those layers until my soul was exposed to every part of this world.
What an extraordinary time to be living in. Being a mother in the time of a pandemic is an added challenge in an already challenging world because right now it’s not just about me surviving but also about me and my little one surviving… and thriving. Before everything went out of hand, my little one and I always used to play in an arcade and I used to think “this train ride’s boring” “I’m too old for this” or “my butt hurts only half of it fits the train seat” it may be funny or superficial to some, but I feel like I’ve taken these little things for granted. If only I knew that this train ride would be the last, I would have enjoyed every second of it. I’ve been reading a lot of posts and articles saying this is the “new normal” but it didn’t hit me until now. I kept thinking about what kind of world my baby would be living in this kind of “new normal” cos “new normal” to me seems superficial. Instead of being boxed in the corners of our small home, I want her to be able to go out and explore. To enjoy her childhood and the normalcy of the world. Oh, how I’m dying to ride that damn train with my baby again!
She probably won’t remember this period of our lives clearly but still, she will know everything because this extraordinary time will be well-written down in history. How we lived in quarantine would probably be one of the stories I will tell her when she is old enough to understand. I would tell her how streets are quiet, unsafe, and empty but our house is filled with love, hope, and laughter now more than ever.
I find comfort in the fact that God is merciful and I trust Him that He will make the world a better place again and that humanity will finally be able to find a cure soon. The last time I was this prayerful was when I was about to push my baby out into this world. I was praying for God to get me and my baby out of the delivery room alive.. Well, in a sense I still kind of have the same prayers, only that it wasn’t as selfish as before.