Many say that I was lucky to get pregnant on this date because that is how I stay at home and enjoy my pregnancy, the truth is that I never imagined having a pregnancy like this; locked up, without being able to share the process with my family or friends, without being able to go out quietly to enjoy a walk or choose your things.
Having a child was what I wanted the most, it took us about a year to get pregnant, and when we knew that the sweet wait was starting we were very happy, wanting to tell everyone, but we were careful to start spreading our good news. A few weeks later we told our parents, as we were going on a trip and we wanted them to know so we could calmly tell them about our experience.
While we were enjoying the news, something unexpected was happening in the world, a pandemic was declared, and positive cases were approaching our country. The entire health system was changing and fears were emerging. I work in a hospital and knowing that there were the first infected in the city, the recommendation was not to go to work anymore. It was something that I had a hard time accepting, used to being there, on the “front line”.
When I heard stories of health teams suffering the conditions of the health demand and even the rejections of the population, my soul broke and gave me helplessness, but little by little I began to understand that the priorities in my life had radically changed.
Pregnancy is a beautiful process, something inexplicable, a love that increases with each sensation and lived experience, feeling how it moves and seeing how it grows, fixes you until the worst days, but in this case, the fears have changed, the typical one regarding pregnancy passed into the background. Now we live in the uncertainty that the day of delivery will pass, everything I expected or intended for that day is no longer so relevant, but the contagion is my great fear. I just hope that my baby is born, that my baby comes into this world and that attachment is our great moment, and that all this is something to tell him when he grows up.
And if I have convinced myself of anything in this process, it is that “knowing” is the worst that can happen, sometimes it is better not to have as much information…